Final Decisions

Today is the anniversary of the loss of our 1st child, Sydney Ann. This month we had our 7th pregnancy loss, Keagan Rene. After ten years of fertility procedures we have decided on surgery to tie my tubes next wk. Thank you for your prayers in this area. We could not have survived without your love and support through all the losses, we value and appreciate it more than you know.

Love,Christa & David
+8 children in heaven

To think clearly again..

Published accidentally..

crazy life.. more pregnancy disaster

Ok, so I promised we'd have an update after today's appointment.

Well, apparently I didn't miscarry this past weekend. All the blood, all the pain, all the clots, all the mess for 3 days.. nope.. I wish this was a good report post, but it is not.

The scan this morning showed the babies still in there, with no growth or heartbeats. I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow and they will be doing genetic testing to make sure we're not creating an extra set of chromosomes or something. I should get those results in 2-3 weeks. That will determine where we go in the fertility process.

Thanks again for following and checking in on me.. it will be another hard week, but I'm not holding on to Jesus.. He's holding on to me..

Pregnancy loss

Well, this update isn't one I want post. It needs to be done however.

(TMI warning)
On Saturday in one of our first outtings in weeks I fell ill. Turns out I was starting to miscarry. We made it through dinner at Star Pizza. To my horror, I bled through to the chair. We canceled the rest of our plans and headed home while calling the dr.

The pain was worse than I remember and came on hard Saturday night. The dr said to monitor and go to hospital if looks abnormal. Sleep was allusive and I think I passed out around 6am.

Today is Tuesday and I'm still in bed with cramps and little bleeding. My next appt is Thursday, hopefully we had a complete miscarriage and won't have to go to the hospital for an D&C.

David has worked from home the past two days. I am so blessed. He has also finished work early and then sat with me in bed until bedtime.

My heart is broken and in so many pieces. We saw a heartbeat for the first time in all my pregnancies. The chances of miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat dropped down to 10%. I can't even beat those odds. What is wrong with me? Life is so unfair and so rough. I really don't know how to get through this. I know God is there somewhere. I just can't hear Him through my screams.

What to say, what to do. I am at a complete loss and feel like I'm in a hole with no way out. How do you hold hope with so much loss? Seven babies in heaven. I can't do this.

pregnancy loss

Thanks for visiting my page and checking in with me.

My appointment today went horribly. It looks like we lost the twins. There was only 3 days worth of growth over the past 8 days and we lost the heartbeat on baby A. I started to cry, but David says we still have hope. In all honesty, he and maybe others have hope, I do not. With 5 miscarriages ending much the same as this one I do not see hope.

The Dr agreed to let us scan again in 1 week (next Thursday) but he is scheduling a D&C for Friday the 19th because there is no hope. I am tired, I hurt, I am crampy, I am lost. Did you know I spent over 6 hours researching OB's in the Houston area in the past 2 days. I can't do this anymore.

I know you are praying.. but please don't comment until after the 20th and it is all over.
Thanks, Christa.