Final Decisions

Today is the anniversary of the loss of our 1st child, Sydney Ann. This month we had our 7th pregnancy loss, Keagan Rene. After ten years of fertility procedures we have decided on surgery to tie my tubes next wk. Thank you for your prayers in this area. We could not have survived without your love and support through all the losses, we value and appreciate it more than you know.

Love,Christa & David
+8 children in heaven

To think clearly again..

Published accidentally..

Some hope...

Well, I can't say we will be doing anything in the baby department anytime soon. But, I can say that my follow-up doctor appointment was good. He said that we still have no reason to miscarry in the future and that my odds are that of a normal person. I don't know how that can be, but it is none-the-less. So, we are waiting on genetic testing of the babies and for some follow-up blood work on David and me.

I'm tired of not being normal and of not doing normal things. I know it will be a slow process, but I really want to feel better, especially mentally. God is bigger than this, I just have to continue to believe and trust in that.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.
Christa.

crazy life.. more pregnancy disaster

Ok, so I promised we'd have an update after today's appointment.

Well, apparently I didn't miscarry this past weekend. All the blood, all the pain, all the clots, all the mess for 3 days.. nope.. I wish this was a good report post, but it is not.

The scan this morning showed the babies still in there, with no growth or heartbeats. I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow and they will be doing genetic testing to make sure we're not creating an extra set of chromosomes or something. I should get those results in 2-3 weeks. That will determine where we go in the fertility process.

Thanks again for following and checking in on me.. it will be another hard week, but I'm not holding on to Jesus.. He's holding on to me..

Pregnancy loss

Well, this update isn't one I want post. It needs to be done however.

(TMI warning)
On Saturday in one of our first outtings in weeks I fell ill. Turns out I was starting to miscarry. We made it through dinner at Star Pizza. To my horror, I bled through to the chair. We canceled the rest of our plans and headed home while calling the dr.

The pain was worse than I remember and came on hard Saturday night. The dr said to monitor and go to hospital if looks abnormal. Sleep was allusive and I think I passed out around 6am.

Today is Tuesday and I'm still in bed with cramps and little bleeding. My next appt is Thursday, hopefully we had a complete miscarriage and won't have to go to the hospital for an D&C.

David has worked from home the past two days. I am so blessed. He has also finished work early and then sat with me in bed until bedtime.

My heart is broken and in so many pieces. We saw a heartbeat for the first time in all my pregnancies. The chances of miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat dropped down to 10%. I can't even beat those odds. What is wrong with me? Life is so unfair and so rough. I really don't know how to get through this. I know God is there somewhere. I just can't hear Him through my screams.

What to say, what to do. I am at a complete loss and feel like I'm in a hole with no way out. How do you hold hope with so much loss? Seven babies in heaven. I can't do this.

pregnancy loss

Thanks for visiting my page and checking in with me.

My appointment today went horribly. It looks like we lost the twins. There was only 3 days worth of growth over the past 8 days and we lost the heartbeat on baby A. I started to cry, but David says we still have hope. In all honesty, he and maybe others have hope, I do not. With 5 miscarriages ending much the same as this one I do not see hope.

The Dr agreed to let us scan again in 1 week (next Thursday) but he is scheduling a D&C for Friday the 19th because there is no hope. I am tired, I hurt, I am crampy, I am lost. Did you know I spent over 6 hours researching OB's in the Houston area in the past 2 days. I can't do this anymore.

I know you are praying.. but please don't comment until after the 20th and it is all over.
Thanks, Christa.

quick prego update..

last thursday, June 4th we were 6 weeks and 2 days along..
we saw heartbeats on twin a. 110!
twin b no yoke sack or fetal pole.. we will rescan next week on friday..
dr isn't optimistic on twin b..
also twin a's gestational sac is about 50% smaller than it should be.. this is another cause for concern.

i'm doing okay, minus a hefty headache..

heading back to bed.. thanks for prayers!

love, christa +2

Oh joy.. pregnancy!

So, I thought I'd give a little report on how we were doing.

I am still very tired and worn out. The doctor keeps saying "take it easy and stay off your feet." That is much harder to do than I thought. We are thinking of getting a small refrigerator for upstairs and a microwave too. I will bring the water filter pitcher and hot tea maker up too. I'd be set then! David has already moved the room around so I can go from a recliner to the bed in one step. Isn't he grand?

I'm not that nauseous. My wonderful doctor already gave me the whole gammit of things to take, just in case. I haven't been that hungry, due to the pressure in my abdomen area anyways. The doctor is worried about that, although I haven't lost weight. So, I've created a week's worth of menus and a grocery shopping list, I just haven't had the energy/desire to make it happen. I know, I know, take it easy.

That's all I have until Friday's report about heartbeats. :)

Hugs, Christa +2

Pregnancy Update..

A quick update on the OHSS (ovary hyperstimulation syndrom). My ovaries have grown to over 10cm each!! (that's about 3 times their normal size!) Ugh.. I saw the dr last Friday and again today. Things are looking up. The pain is about the same, size about the same, the fluid around the ovaries has increased, but my CBC and other bloodwork, etc is still looking good.

On to other good news... It looks like TWINS! We saw two little buds today! :) I go in a week from this Friday and hopefully see heartbeats.

Woo Woo x 2!
Tired, tired Christa

Fertility UPDATE! :) We made it!!

Hey all,

I went in on Monday and had another scan along with the prego test. The test came out positive!! (doin' a dance!) We did it, we did it, we did it!! Praise God, amen.
The scan, however, was worse than last week.

The OHSS (over hyper stimulation syndrome) has worsened due to all the prego hormones. The dr says it might last 4 to 6 more weeks. I have gained 7 pounds in a week. I have bloated up over 10 inches in my waist. (I look 5 months pregnant!) Of course we are monitoring this and other symptoms very closely.

We had another scan on Wednesday and my ovaries had grown another 2cm each. Thankfully there is no fluid in my belly or in my lungs. The nurse said they would typically drain the ovaries, but with 5 miscarriages in my past, they were using that as a last resort. She also said that I needed to keep a bag packed for the hospital because these cases can go bad in a hurry. (like this isn't bad enough?)

I will be scanned again on Friday. I need prayers for mental support. I have been in bed for almost 2 weeks now and we're only technically 4.5 weeks prego!

Thanks for all your prayers and support gals!

-- Christa.